Learning to Relax Again

Days just keep flying by, and here I am in Lilongwe for more than a month already!  I've had friends and family ask what I am up to every day, so here is a little taste of what I do most days while Kate is at school.......

Yep, that is a pretty fair representation; just trying to find as much time as possible to lie in the hammock and learning to relax again.  It's been a strange transition, working at the public defender in Louisville, never having enough time to get the work done that you have in front of you, transitioning to pretty much having endless time to fill.  The first two or three weeks I found myself regularly thinking about what I should be doing, what was next on the list, whether I was needed somewhere..... madness.

Now, I'm certainly not complaining.  Catching up on reading, listening to music, studying the local language, spending time walking around and exploring: all these things are great, and I appreciate the value in them and the luxury I've got right now to do them.  It is interesting, though, that our brains are programmed to always be moving, always thinking about what needs to be done, to always be in a hurry.  Part of that was probably the culture of the job I was at; part of that is just the American mentality I suppose.

 Malawi is not that.  People that have traveled in the Caribbean or Hawaii know what "island time" is: never getting too stressed about a schedule and simply going with the flow.  Malawi generally fits that attitude as well.  A 6 pm meet up inevitability happens at 6:30, or 7, or 9.  And that's okay, because nobody seems all too worked up about it.

One thing that is in my (almost) daily routine is walking with Lucy.  We live a few minutes away from the Lilongwe Golf Club, and spend an hour or two every day walking there.  It is not very busy, but we typically see a few people here and there playing a round.  Wish I would have thought to bring the clubs to Malawi?

That being said, lots of beautiful trees and flowers, and always a great chance to check out some of the local creatures.  My intention after seeing some of these and taking pictures, is to go home and do some research about what I have just found, scientific names, ...not enough of that so far.  But here are some cool pics nevertheless.  On the left is a millipede that is probably 6-8 inches long.  It's called a Choungololo or "Giant African Millipede." Apparently, some keep them as pets?  Not necessarily my cup of tea now, but could definitely see the appeal of having one of these in the terrarium (http://exoticpets.about.com/cs/centipedes/a/millipedes.htm)


On the right is a pretty nice size lizard.  It's too bad I didn't have a little more courage, so that I could have gotten closer and put something next to him to give him some scale, but yeah, not quite. He was probably a good 18-24 inches long, and looked just menacing enough for me to keep my distance. Not sure if he is part of the iguana family?  type of chameleon?  Haven't figured it out yet; if anybody knows, feel free to fill me in.

Always beautiful trees, flowers, etc.  Everything here seems so exotic at first, but even in the month I've been here, that starts to fade.  I've had the conversation with Kate before, about how people back home always want to see more pictures and hear about the interesting things you are doing.  There are many things that seem to fit the bill, particularly at first.  But like any place or experience, familiarity does set in.  Our day-to-day becomes so normalized to us, that sometimes it seems hard to remember to pull out the camera.   Reminds me of living in San Diego and sometimes people hadn't been near the beach for months and months at a time.

There have been trips to the market, grocery store, and simply wandering around to get lost. I'd like to do another post on the market, but am working out how to take pictures there the right way.  Not sure what the etiquette here is on taking pictures in public spaces, so I'll work on that.  So much energy and life there. Some more traveling coming up as well, so we'll hopefully be seeing some more exotic locals.
I have met with a couple of people about doing some volunteering, and just starting to trickle out a couple resumes here and there.  The initial plan was to take 6-8 weeks to decompress- might be cutting it short, might not.  For now, enjoy the peace, and the relative stillness in my life.  Enjoy walking in the golf course with Lucy.  And enjoy whatever comes next.

I finally made it to Malawi! (Part 4/4 - Zomba Plateau)

As I wrote before, Kate was very thoughtful and set up a 3 day holiday for us to relax together right when I got to Malawi.  After a few days of decompressing in Lilongwe, we hit the road for Zomba.

When we got to Zomba, we met up with Emma, Dani, and Louke.  Emma, of course, is the Canadian teacher who lives in the same compound as us, Dani is from Ireland, Louke is from Holland, and all three teach with Kate at Bishop Mackenzie.  We dropped off Emma's smaller car at a lodge in Zomba, hopped in Dani and Louke's Rav4, and headed up the mountain for the Zomba Forest Lodge.

The lodge was simply unbelievable.  It is run by Tom and Petal, a lovely couple who have essentially turned their home into a guest house.  They are both Brits, although my understanding is that Petal's grandparents were missionaries here in Malawi and that she spent quite a bit of her youth here. (http://www.zombaforestlodge.com/)    There was another couple staying there as well, for a total of 7 guests for the time we were there.  The word on the street is that the lodge is especially known for their amazing food.  It is all situated right in the forest, with hiking paths running right past their property. They have also done a great job decorating and setting the atmosphere.  Also, no electricity, so they mainly get by on solar lanterns and candles; we hardly noticed.

 Once we got settled that first evening, Dani and Louke pulled out Kubb (aka "Viking Chess").  We all had a beer and settled into what was the first of many rounds of this entertaining lawn game.  For fans of bocce or bags, I highly suggest looking into it. Much fun, very strategic, and like I said before, we ended up scheduling much of our time here around when we could get another game in.

After a few games, we headed over to one of the overlooks to take in our first sunset on Zomba Plateau.  Beautiful, and at times like this it was easy to feel very lucky about where we were at in the world, with the opportunity to meet new friends and simply soak in the adventure.  Like I have said before and will probably say many times again, not the pictures I had in my mind when I envisioned Malawi.  Stunning.

After watching the sun set, we headed back to the lodge for what was the first of many amazing meals.  While I know it is in fashion to take pictures of all the wonderful food people eat, I forgot to take any.  Perhaps that is a testament to how good it really was!  I can say that every morning we were treated to local coffee done right with the french press, homemade cinnamon roles, muffins, fruit, everything you'd want.  Lunch was packed sandwiches and fruit for our hikes, and dinner every night was what could be described as gourmet food fit for kings.

We spent the days hiking up to the top of the plateau, exploring, eating great food, and simply relaxing and enjoying each other's company.  It is always nice to meet new friends, and I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to help me celebrate my first week in Malawi.

I know that my time here will be spent with many days that are not quite as exciting as the first few that were spent here.  There will hopefully be much travel and exploring, though, as that is one of the best things about Malawi, all the places waiting to be discovered.  Trying my best to absorb the culture and understand the people here will undoubtedly be a large part of the process as well, but one that I look forward to.  Learning the local language (Chichewa) is definitely on the list, and so far I am happy to report that I have a dozen or so phrases that are helping me get by.

There will also be the upcoming challenge of figuring out how to really spend my time here, other than simply being a house-husband (which does have its appeal). I miss my work at the public defender's office in Louisville, but know there are plenty of opportunities to have impact here as well. My initial plan was to spend 6-8 weeks simply relaxing and decompressing before I start the attempt at finding work.  I don't know if it is simply my inability to stay still, but I have a feeling that time frame will be pushed up just a little bit.
As of today, I've been here 22 days. Some days it feels like I just arrived yesterday; others, it feels like I've been here six months.  While I miss my friends and family, that is sometimes the trade off: exploring and having new adventures far from home.  There's an energy and life in Malawi that is hard to really explain (although that is exactly what I will continue to attempt).  Many people say that Malawi is perhaps the easiest country in Africa for someone new to the continent, and thus far that is exactly what I've found.  Looking forward to today, tomorrow, and everything after.

I finally made it to Malawi! - Part 3 (The road to Zomba Plateau)

All right, I've been here 2 1/2 weeks and I'm almost done writing about the first 3-4 days!

As I said before, chance would have it that Kate had a 5 day weekend when I first got to Lilongwe.  So after a couple days of simply resting, relaxing, and getting my bearings, we headed to Zomba Plateau for a 2-3 day holiday! (side note-we'll see how many exclamation points are needed in this post; everything seems so exciting!)

We planned on driving south on the main road in Malawi (the M1), stopping at Dedza Pottery Lodge for a late breakfast, meeting three friends in Zomba, and then heading up to Zomba Forest Lodge.  This was going to be my first impression of the country outside of Lilongwe, and it was very beautiful.

Lush, mountainous, peaceful, great roads!  I had purposely not spent a lot of time researching Malawi, looking at pictures online, reading other blogs, etc.  I didn't want to come here with any expectations or preconceived notions about what the experience would be like based on others' perceptions.  Yet I still some had pretty lame stereotypes built up in my mind, and this didn't necessarily fit my picture.

The M1 is the main road in Malawi that runs north-south, being the main transit between Lilongwe (which is the political capital) and Blantyre (which is the economic capital).  It was a great road-smooth, most of it had a nice shoulder, very few potholes.  Kate informed me that many people assume the road is in such good shape because the President is traveling back and forth quite a bit on this stretch, and therefore extra care is taken to make sure it is in good condition.  Done.



After about 1 1/12 hours of driving (sensory overload) we arrived in the small town of Dedza.  Within this small town was a hidden gem: the Dedza Pottery Lodge.  http://www.dedzapottery.com/  It is a bit of a misnomer to call it hidden, as all of the expats in Malawi (as well as all of the travel books on Malawi) are keenly aware of the lodge, and most importantly the amazing restaurant there.  As such, Kate had planned on giving me a first class breakfast on our first road trip together in Malawi.

Kate and I briefly browsed the pottery, of which there a bunch of great stuff, but then got to business having a delicious breakfast.  Walking from the pottery lodge to the restaurant, we saw beautiful facilities, immaculately manicured grounds, really top-notch all the way.

Unexpectedly, we were the only patrons in the restaurant that morning (although it was 10:30 on a Sunday morning, so if not then....)  Even so, we had great service, and it felt like we were at some exclusive resort, our every need being catered to.  I had eggs, sausage, bacon, toast with jam, coffee and juice!  Lovely, and more exclamation points!!!! Peaceful, quiet, cheap (I think the whole breakfast cost us about 7,000 kwacha, which is about $16 USD).



 Back on the road, we headed south again.  As a quick aside, I don't want to paint a picture that Malawi is not a poor country, or that our experiences here aren't distinctly formed by the reality that we have the luxury of wealth that normal Malawians wouldn't dream of.  Are we doing what we are supposed to, by putting money into the local economy?  Are we spoiled brats living every day in a standard that is so far beyond most here?  Before I go off on too much of a tangent, these are questions I think about, everyday, particularly during my interactions with people here. Once I spend more time getting to know the country and the people here, I plan on writing more about the dichotomy we face living here.  Just not quite yet.

That being said, we do have the luxury to live the way we do in a country that is poor, with some calling it the poorest in the world.  Apparently, though, there is even some controversy about that particular distinction-
http://www.maravipost.com/national/opinions/muckracking/8278-badge-of-dishonour-,-world-bank-ranks-malawi-poorest-of-the-poor.html
 vs.
http://www.nyasatimes.com/2015/02/24/malawi-may-not-be-poorest-of-the-poor-in-2015-ranking-world-bank/

Either way, some people here do live in grass huts, living a barely there subsistence lifestyle, in a way that most of us probably think of when we think of people in "Africa."  There is clearly poverty here, some of it tragically dangerous for the people who live that reality.  The flip side is that Malawi, like many countries in Africa, has a strong and growing middle class, as well as an upper class elite that has no problem living a very nice lifestyle.

I keep coming back to that moment when I told people I was moving to Malawi (or as most would only refer to it, Africa!)  There may be some stereotypes we have that are probably correct with regard to specific places and people here. But mostly, we (Americans, myself included) tend to be a bit uneducated about this dynamic continent.  Just Google "stereotypes about Africa", and it's easy to see where I'm coming from. (Here's a good one that is worth the read -http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/time-to-rethink-our-stereotypes-of-africa-296306061.html ) Again, two sides to the coin of our adventures, and one that I expect to explore more as my own experience lends me perspective and context to really reflect on our place here, and hopefully the impact we can have.   Deep breath, back to the road trip!

Traffic was relatively light as it was the weekend, but one thing that was consistent were police checkpoints in the towns.  My natural aversion to authority piqued my interest (not to mention some skepticism), but our interactions could not have been more enjoyable.  More than anything, it seemed like the officers simply felt like breaking up their day by having a nice conversation.  Kate was even caught driving a bit fast through one of the towns (where 60km is the limit vs. 100km outside the towns, although that is a bit unclear to my foreign understanding), and after the officer reviewed her insurance documents and license, let her off with a warning.  Either way, a nice drive through the country of Malawi to destroy any preconceived notions about corrupt officials looking to prey on foreigners.

One other thing I noticed about driving through Malawi was all the corn.  It is called maize here, and if you ask about corn, people look at you like you're crazy.  Maize is the number one crop here, by far.  It is a staple of the diet here, and is the primary ingredient in nsima, a porridge that I have yet to try.  Kate has, and indicates I should not be in a huge hurry. Short of the mountains everywhere, you could almost convince me we were in Iowa- good looking corn!

Once we transitioned off the M1, the condition of the road certainly suffered, but all things considered was still pretty good. More potholes, less of a shoulder, but Kate did a great job taking care of Emma's suspension by driving like a boss!  Perhaps my favorite moment was when Kate quickly stopped the car in the middle of the highway, and pointed out this bad boy!  A chameleon!  For those of you who are on facebook or instagram, you may have seen this guy already, but I think he deserves a second look!  I wish I would have taken a picture that gave him some scale, but my estimate is that from head to toe (tail), he was probably a good 10-12 inches!

And I am a liar.  There will be a Part 4 to this initial post.  I am tired of writing today, and want to head outside for a nice walk with Lucy.  Zomba Plateau and Zomba Forest Lodge are next up.  A professor in law school (who will remain unnamed as he gave  me one of my worst marks) always critiqued my writing with the exclamation, "Precision!", as in, I lack it.  Consistent with my insight into the quote from last post about omitting needless words (and really consistent with anyone who knows my personality and ability to talk and talk and talk and talk - or is that inability to keep my mouth shut?), I will continue to be aware that there is a goal here.  That goal is to, again, enjoy the process, enjoy every day that is our adventure, and hopefully make some progress in areas where I lack.  Hopefully, this picture (that Kate probably doesn't know I took ) will bring you back for Part 4.  Only 18 exclamation points in this post! (19)

I finally made it to Malawi! - Part 2

All things considered, I felt pretty good after 1 and 1/2 days of travel.  I walk out of the airport, Kate is waiting for me, haven't seen her in almost seven months, feeling good.  Kate had borrowed her friend Emma's car (she's a teacher from Kingston, Ontario, and teaches year 6 at Bishop Mackenzie with Kate- more on Emma another time), and expertly drove us about 30 minutes from the airport to our home.  This, of course, is a former British colony so all driving is done on the left (wrong?) side of the rode.  Takes more than a little while to reprogram the brain on this one.  We pull up to our new place and head in...

Pretty tough to beat that! A beautiful home, surrounded by lush vegetation and a beautiful walkway to the front door. We live near Kate's school, in a compound that's referred to as Kotecha.  Emma lives in Flat 4, Joe (a secondary teacher from Indiana) lives in Flat 1, and Dan (a middle school teacher from Oakland) lives in Flat 2.  (The majority of the teachers at Bishop Mackenzie are not from the U.S., two just happen to live in the same compound) This is in addition to two local families that live on the grounds as well.  They are all lovely, and I will write more about them all in another post.

But wouldn't you know it, somebody was waiting for me in the house! Lucy!!!!

It's hard to overstate how much I missed the two ladies in my life.  I suppose a more eloquent writer than I could wax philosophically about the dynamics of being part of a long distance relationship, the stress that is put on your psyche when the constants in your life are turned upside down, about the challenge to stay level when your world is shifting from the safe and expected to the new and unknown....

All things considered, I had a great situation in Louisville after Kate left.  Shout out to Carlos Wood for letting me stay at his place during this transition.  I was surrounded by friends and colleagues (I would name them all, but based on an attempt at a recent Facebook post tagging my co-workers, I will obviously forget one or two or eleven of them) and work that I cared about. I can't speak for Kate, but I know she was focused on being in a new place, having work she cares about deeply, enjoying the adventure.  We both stayed busy, and I think that made the time apart much easier.  Either way, however, I'm glad that stretch is over. And now I'm here, in Lilongwe, with Kate (and Lucy), and I'm relieved to be past the tough part.

Back to the first day!  Kate had home made chicken noodle soup waiting for me, and we definitely shared a beer.  We also had birthday cake, for my 36th birthday two days before. Carrot cake, my favorite, she knows me well.

More than anything, I think we both just glanced out of the corner of our eyes at each other wondering if the other person was really there.

We took Lucy for a walk, and like any picture of a beautiful sunset, this one didn't even capture 1/10 of 1% of the scene, not to mention all the emotion that I was feeling looking at my first Malawi sunset.  Good thing I have a lot of extra time, learning how to use Adobe Photoshop needs to be on the list. Side note, I redid the header for the blog, and included a picture in the background of one of my favorite pics I've taken so far.  Full disclosure, it took me 1 and 1/2 hours to get that bad boy dialed in.  I laugh to think it would take someone who knew what was up probably 3 minutes, but I suppose that is a microcosm for many things that will happen here.  Learning new things, challenging yourself (even with the little things) is all part of the journey, the adventure if you will.

Like anything in a situation and place like this, it is very hard to put things about our new life into context when you talk to family and friends from home.  Our home is in a walled compound with the other people I talked about above.

This is on a street where every home is behind a wall, with a gate, and I believe all have security personnel.  We also have an alarm on our house, with bars on the windows and a locked gate in front of our front door.  Yet I have yet to feel unsafe here, once.  Like any foreign and exotic place, using your head goes a long way to keeping yourself safe, and the people here are so friendly. Again, Kate was here for seven months on her own and traveled quite a few times alone.  She never had any problems with her safety or security.  People (myself included) have stereotypes about Africa, how dangerous it may be, etc.  Yet, Malawi, the Warm Heart of Africa says more about the people here than anything

After we got back from our walk, I laid down and instantly fell into the type of sleep that only goes with exhaustion.  Luckily, Kate woke me up at 6:30 pm, to try and get me on the local schedule.  I slept in fits that first night.  Saturday was filled with more naps, Kate filling my stomach with her wonderful cooking, and Kate just generally taking care of me.  I needed it.

Saturday night, we took Lucy across town to Ben and Lilly's house.  They are two Americans that agreed to watch Lucy for the three days we had planned for travel.  Ben works as a consultant for UNICEF and Lilly is working for Partners in Health doing a study and implementation on breast cancer.  I have a feeling Kate and I will be spending more time with them (and actually are meeting them for Japanese food tonight! -yes, Lilongwe apparently has a Japanese restaurant, very excited)

When we got home from dropping Lucy off, I noticed this bad boy!!!!! I already posted this on Facebook, but how awesome is this.  A giant snail, and there are always six or eight of them, every night, right outside our door.  You have to be very careful as they are on the walk at times, as they seem to be traveling to whatever destination is waiting for them.

There are so many amazing creatures here.  Once I get a few more pics I will do an entire post just on that.  Chameleons, exotic birds, beautiful flora.  It is really a privilege and a joy to be able to see all of these things that my 10-year-old-self would have flipped out seeing.  And I am still flipping out, because they are awesome.  Look at that snail!

Sunday morning we took off for our three day holiday.  Unbeknownst to me when I booked my flight over, Kate had a 5 day weekend waiting, so she had planned to take advantage.

I didn't know there was going to be part 3 to this initial post, but Zomba Plateau is going to take a little more time and effort.  I am reading a book by Stephen King right now called "On Writing," and very early in the book he quotes a well known adage about writing: "Omit needless words."  Apparently writing efficiently, like everything else for me here in Malawi, is a work in progress.

My six month update!! (or, "I finally made it to Malawi"!) - Part 1

Well, after almost seven months away from each other, I finally made the move.  As such, it was time to either start doing this blog thing, or not. So here we are.

My last day at work was Feb 13.  Plenty to be said about that, perhaps another post.  I will miss it, and all the people there, a lot.

One very nice thing about the transition was that I got to spend about 10 days back in Iowa with family.  That means I was able to spend a lot of time with Kara, Jason, Olivia, Jack and Ben.  Piano lessons, basketball practice, taking them to McDonalds for some uncle time, playing endless video games with Jack, it was great.  Jay, Abby and Amelia even came down from Minneapolis for the weekend I was home.  Time with nieces and nephews only makes me realize I wish I was there more, but I know that when Kate and I travel home from Malawi there is a good chance we will actually spend more time with them then when we lived in Louisville and only made it back for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I also got to spend time with Kate's folks, Charles and Melanie, and her sister Kara.  I always have a great time with them as well. Leaving is always tough, but I will see you all soon!

The entire trip home was really highlighted with a birthday/anniversary dinner on Saturday night at Cobble Hill in downtown Cedar Rapids.  http://www.cobblehillrestaurant.com/   I'm no expert, and certainly no critic, but wow!  We had a great time and Andy and Carrie, two old friends who own and operate this great restaurant, were so gracious and hospitable.  Andy also happens to be a regional semi-finalist for the James Beard Award, the first chef from Cedar Rapids ever! We had such a great time, and were only missing Dad as he was finishing up his annual trip to the orphanage in Haiti.

The trip itself started out with a bang, aka Dad and Mom driving me through a "blizzard" from Cedar Rapids to Chicago.  We left at about 11:30 pm, which was a result of my brilliant plan to leave Chicago at 6 am.  This, of course, was after about 1 hour of sleep as I stayed up to watch the Hawkeyes beat Illinois.  Luckily Dad has as much experience driving in weather as anyone, and the drive went off without a hitch.  I can't imagine how tired they were on the drive back, though.  At 36 years old, I still have to rely on Mom and Dad, and they always come through.

A little nervous at O'Hare about the weight of my two check-ons, but they both weighed in at 49.5 pounds.  After that, it was (prety much) all gravy.  Chicago to Toronto, (where an attendant from Ethiopian Airlines was trying to keep me off the plane as I had not purchased a return ticket per Malawi tourist policy), Toronto to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Addis Ababa to Lilongwe, Malawi.  The flight to Addis Ababa was a haul, 12 1/2 hours.  Ethiopian Airlines was fantastic, though, and I think we were fed 4 or 5 meals, snacks, etc.  Pretty awesome to start feeling out of your comfort zone, even on the plane, and as soon as we stepped off  in Ethiopia, it felt like we were in a different world.

At the airport there, we only had about a 2 hour layover, but it gave me a chance to have some conversations with other folks that were getting ready to head to Malawi.  I met Doug, a guy from Detroit that has been coming to Malawi for 7 or 8 years helping to hand dig wells.  I met Matt, a former producer of public television that was last working in D.C., and was heading into Malawi to volunteer for 3 months for Project Peanut Butter - http://www.projectpeanutbutter.org/
I also met Shaun, a Brit who helped found 3rd World Hope  http://www.3rdworldhope.org.uk/index.html
I don't know much about any of their organizations, but it is great to see people from all over trying to have an impact.

We then flew to Lilongwe, with what seemed like a very quick 4 hour flight.  Stepping off the plane, trying to absorb every sight, smell and sound.  Immigration and customs was a breeze, hardly checked my paperwork at all.  I step past customs and have my first real view of Lilongwe.  Looks like paradise to me.

Kate met me right outside the airport, and all I can say was that it was very, very good to see her after our stretch of long-distance.  She took us back to the place, where we get to start our life here together.  Next post, the first weekend of resting up to get over jet lag and traveling to Zomba Plateau for a few days of relaxation.  Miss you all.